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I woke up smelling coffee and bacon cooking. Groggily, consciousness fully returned to my brain. Slowly opening one eye, I looked at the bright light coming in through the bedroom window. Someone had opened the curtains. I hate that! Rolling over, confirmed that Debbie was not in bed with me and was obviously the author of those wonderful breakfast smells.Fully awake now, I remembered last night. I felt a jolt in the pit of my stomach. With the cold hard light of day, a devastating feeling that everything had changed rushed through my thoughts. Without the influence of the pea brain in my dick, my other brain was telling me to be terrified, angry, mortified, jealous and defeated. In addition, I was disgusted and felt guilty at my obvious arousal during my voyeuristic depravity when I watched Debbie and Gus. Also, on some level, the sex acts I had performed on Debbie after she?d been with Gus disgusted me.I had gone down on Debbie after Gus had cum in her twice! What man in his right mind would do that? Then I had stuck my cock into her cum-filled pussy. It?s not like I hadn?t ever licked her pussy after I had cum in her or given her a second fuck. I knew what a cum-filled pussy tasted and felt like, but that was my cum. Not another man?s. All of this was bad enough, but worst of all, I realized I really loved it. When I had orgasmed in Debbie, it felt like my head was going to explode.Yet here in bed, thinking about last night, my god dammed cock was hard as a rock and it wasn?t just morning wood. I was a cuckold, and some part of me relished it. What the hell was wrong with me?I was glad my stomach was empty. The flip flops and nausea I felt made me really think I would throw up. I climbed out of the bed and headed for the shower. Fifteen minutes later, refreshed, clean and fully dressed, I felt much better and headed to the kitchen to face Debbie.When I entered the kitchen Debbie was in front of the range, cooking. Announcing myself, I said, ?Good morning, Honey.?She turned towards me and I saw flushing rise in her cheeks instantly. She cast her eyes downward as she acknowledged my greeting.?Sit down, sweetheart, I have breakfast ready for you,? she said.I grabbed a coffee and sat down at my normal place at the table. With work and everything, we didn?t often get to eat breakfast together. Today was different. There were two place settings on the table, so I knew she was joining me. Although it was the weekend and we could normally take our time, I was extremely nervous. Eating and talking was probably the last thing I wanted, yet Debbie is my wife. I have loved her with all my heart for almost twenty years. What makes her happy, makes me happy.Debbie served us both and then sat down across from me. Debbie is a straight shooter. We don?t keep secrets and we don?t tell lies to each other. I mean that in the best sense because although Debbie has always felt it?s important to be truthful, she?s never cruel or hurtful. Words come from her heart, always with feeling and sincerity.She took a sip of coffee and then looked up and stared into my eyes. I could see her thinking as she tried to formulate her thoughts before she voiced them to me.She said, ?Don, are you okay??I could have led her on, by asking 'What do you mean?'. I could have even ignored her question, playing like I didn?t know about anything that happened last night. I could have even blown it off like it was no big almanbahis deal. None of those things felt right. The only thing that felt genuine was to tell her the truth, so I did.My shoulders slumped and with some sadness in my eyes, I said, ?Debbie, baby. I saw you and Gus last night. I watched the whole thing from your first kiss with him to the end.?Her eyes went misty and I saw the beginning of tears form and roll down from the bottom of her eyelids. She interrupted, ?Oh sweetheart, I?m so very sorry!?She went on to say that if I had watched from the beginning, I should know that it wasn?t planned.I put my finger to my lips to hush her and said, ?I know, Deb. That?s not the problem. The real problem is that I got so turned on watching you with Gus that I could hardly stand it.?I went on to explain to Deb all of the contradictory thoughts that were going on in my mind. I even shared how disgusted I was with the things I had done with her after Gus. In the process, I explained my thinking that I just couldn?t see how she could ever respect me now. After all, I had knowingly sucked her creampie from another man and then had sloppy seconds with her, actually enjoyed it immensely. I didn?t see how she could ever feel the same about me as she once had.I will say this for Deb. She is a listener. She didn?t interrupt and I saw nothing on her face that would indicate she was judging me in some way. All I saw was a very real and sincere concern for my feelings. I finally ran out of steam after completely exposing all of my inner fears.She reached across the table and held my hands, then she looked into my eyes and said, ?Don, I love you more than life itself. You are my whole life. Nothing we did last night was repulsive to me in any way. In fact, what I felt making love with you was how truly connected we were and the warmth of love that comes from a man who I know loves me completely.?She went on to describe her own concerns. That she had irreparably harmed our marriage. That in a moment of stupidity she had hurt me beyond anything I or she could bear.We talked for hours. I?d like to say that we solved all of the issues that bothered both of us, but that would be complete fantasy. Life is by far more complex. Although you can give loving reassurance on your partner's insecurities, self-doubt once again will creep in again and again. It takes many talks over much time to keep those monsters at bay.Peace only comes when you?re in the arms of the one you love. When they hear your worst inner fears*and insecurities and still love you with all their heart. Often, words will get in the way. The truth of their love is felt through the touch between your bodies. It?s like a thirst. To quench it, you have to go to the well whenever you need water. Satiating the thirst of self-doubt and insecurities happens in the arms of the person you love.Although Deb and I both realized the long road in front of us, there was one other very important truth I had to share with her. It came out in a rush near the end of our heart-to-heart talk. Although I felt we had completely shared feelings about our personal insecurities, there was one thing I had not been honest with her about.Neither of us could really eat so we had moved to the living room. Most of our conversation had taken place sitting side to side on the couch. I could tell we were nearing the end of our talk. Deb was in my arms and we were both almanbahis yeni giriş holding each other close. I needed to tell her the rest because I felt if I didn?t, I?d never be able to bring it up again.I blurted it out, ?Deb, there?s one more thing you need to know... I want to watch you and Gus again.?There, I said it. I couldn?t believe I said it, but I did. It couldn?t be taken back. More fear and that nauseous feeling in the stomach wondering if I had finally said too much. How would she take this revelation? It was bad enough that I had confessed all my other deep depravities and deep-seated uncertainties. Would this be the last straw?She was silent. Time agonizingly ticked by. I thought, Now I have really done it!I realized that when she finally answered, it was because she was seriously thinking through how best to respond. Not that she hated me or was thinking less of me, but sincerely considering my statement.She said, ?Sweetheart, I?m not even sure if I?d ever even considered another time with Gus, never mind if you could watch. I honestly don?t know if I could do that, but I will think about it. Please give me a few days and I?ll give you an answer and we can talk more, okay???Good enough,? I said.We left it at that and life went on, almost like normal, but of course, you can never put the genie back in the bottle the same way once it?s out. I will say that we had spectacularly astonishing sex every night for the next week. Interspaced amongst the sex was lots of sharing our feelings and talking through concerns. In some ways, we were closer physically and spiritually than ever before.A week went by and I thought Deb had forgotten her promise to give me an answer, but of course, she hadn?t. She?s not built that way. On the next Saturday morning, she told me that we should talk that afternoon about the question I had asked at the end of our original conversation. Talk about being on pins and needles. Those five hours dragged by as slow as I?d ever experienced the passage of time.Just after lunch, Deb called me and we sat down again on that couch in the living room. Just as close as the last time.Deb looked at me and said, ?I?ve given it a lot of thought and my answer is yes, with stipulations.?Her answer gave me an instant erection in my pants. God! I had absolutely no control over my body?s reactions anymore.* It was embarrassing, especially when I realized Deb was looking and she knew with certainty of my arousal. She looked back into my eyes and gave me a coy smile.?Apparently, you?re good with my answer,? she said.?What are your provisos?? I asked.Deb replied, ?I?m not sure I?m comfortable with you in the same room and Gus has to agree. That?s basically it, except you also have to be completely alright with it if we go forward. No recriminations after, and you and I have to be one hundred percent in agreement. I won?t sacrifice our marriage for romps with Gus because one or the other of us is having some short moments of physical pleasure. Our marriage is too important to be jeopardized in that way. Okay??I agreed with everything. I suggested that either she or I could fill Gus in. We?d just tell him I knew and was okay with it. I also told Deb that my kink was to watch as though unseen, so I didn?t really want to be in the room. I suggested our rec room would work perfectly because it had a pull-out couch and a sauna room in the corner. The door almanbahis giriş on the sauna had a window in it which I could easily change to one-way glass.Deb was way more restrained in her approach. Smart lady! She basically told me to think over everything before we embarked upon something as important as what we were considering. We agreed to talk more in a few days.Although we hadn?t finished our decision, I took our preliminary talk as a go-ahead to replace the window in the sauna door. Deb didn?t say anything when she saw me do the work. Sex, however, was just as hot and mutually satisfying for both of us as it was the week after her dalliance with Gus.Several nights later, when we finished one of our new astonishingly satisfying sex sessions, I brought up the subject. I told her I was ready and completely on board with all her stipulations. We could go ahead if she wanted. She kissed me tenderly and told me she?d talk to Gus. Damned if I didn?t get hard again, which led to a second round with Deb that night. Neither of us quite understood the heightened libido that occurred to both of us when we discussed Deb having sex with Gus, but we certainly took advantage of it.Two days later, Deb informed me that Gus had called her. He was worried because he hadn?t heard from her for a while and was concerned that their night together had ruined their friendship. She had assured him that it was anything but. She then used his call as an opportunity to tell him that I was aware of their night together and I was fine with it. That kind of freaked Gus out, but after she offered to have him over on Friday night to visit, he calmed down.He asked where I?d be. She told him I?d have to leave for a meeting shortly after Gus arrived. Then there?d be some time for them to visit together. Although Gus had some anxieties about me knowing, he was gung-ho to visit with Deb.Debbie and I both felt somewhat badly about not being upfront with Gus and letting him know that I would be nearby watching, but then again, we both felt that what he gained far outweighed our little subterfuges. After all, from our perspective, this was mostly about our desires. His part was just a lucky consequence of the interaction between Debbie and me.Friday came soon enough. Deb and I had an early dinner and then she went to the master bedroom to get ready. I heard the bath running and then I knew she would be having a long soak. Almost two hours later she descended back down to our living room. I was mesmerized. She was incredibly gorgeous.Her hair was immaculately coiffured. Long flowing tresses down to her shoulders. Her makeup was subtle, yet drew out her natural beauty. The colour of her lipstick was perfectly shaded to entice a yearning to kiss every trace of it from her lips.She wore a wrap-around type dress made of a shimmering deep wine colour that reached to just above her knees. Complementing the dress was a single necklace strand of white pearls. Her legs were encased in black nylons. I suspected they were traditional, held up by garters ? not those pull-up pantyhose type.I was gobsmacked and sat there with my mouth hanging open. She was absolutely stunning. She out and out laughed at my obvious dumbfounded behaviour.?What?s the matter, big boy? Cat got your tongue?? she asked.Once I could actually talk, I told her just how incredibly beautiful she was. I stood up and wanted to take her in my arms, but she pushed me away and told me not to wrinkle the merchandise.Disappointedly, I turned away and mixed us both a drink. We sat together, making small talk as we waited for Gus. Right upon the agreed time, the doorbell rang. Gus was here!