I try to look nonchalant, uncross my arms and say, *quot;Ok. I am listening.*quot;
He smiles. I turn and walk back into the room. The light beside the bed is on. I sit down and offer him something to drink. *quot;No. I'm good. First I just want to say, if I'm going to keep my hands off you and talk, do you mind putting on a robe?*quot;
I look down. The blush is quick and a deep red. I stand and walk to the bathroom. After the wine, and falling asleep I completely forgot to get dressed. I didn't even notice. What a way to begin this talk. I'm fucking naked. I. Lose and lock the bathroom door. Take a deep breath. I brush my hair and my teeth. Splash some cold water on my face. Grab my robe and slip it on. It's not the silky one from our night. It's a huge terry cloth one the hotel provides. Now what. I still feel the effects of the wine. I can't put it off anymore. I exit the bathroom. Slowly walk back to the bed and sit, making completely sure not to look at him or touch him. I have decided to sit as far away from him while still being on the bed. He takes a deep breath and starts.
*quot;I am sure I hurt you, but*quot;
*quot;Why would you think you can even hurt me, so we fucked, big deal.*quot; My tone is like acid. Come to think of it, my head feels like someone has poured acid in it. I can't. I can't have this talk now. I'm sick to my stomach. *quot;Look, I'm sorry. That was bitchy. How about we compromise. I promise to talk to you openly. I promise to listen. If you can just wait until tomorrow. Maybe at lunchtime.*quot; I feel so tired. I feel like I'm about to cry, and the wine is still effecting my body.
*quot;Why can't we talk now Lauren? I really want to.*quot; His eyes are searching my face.
*quot;I drank some wine last night. I really feel like I'm going to vomit. Plus, I'm so tired.*quot; A tear has escaped and rolls down my cheek. His hand reaches toward me. Thankfully I am out of reach. If he touches me I will be lost.
He scratches his head. And softly replies *quot;Wine huh. Ok. I will accept your compromise. Lay down.*quot;
I figured he would leave. I lay down and he turns out the light. The one tear has now multiplied. They are coming quickly. I do not cry very often. I grab a Kleenex off the bedside table, whisper goodnight, and close my eyes. I am almost asleep when I feel the mattress dip. I can feel him pulling me into his eye. I can still feel the tears running on my face. I want to roll over out of his arms, but my body doesn't respond. Instead I feel my body melting into his. The
bahis firmaları last thought in my head is, maybe this is where I am suppose to be.
The sunlight has invaded my eyes. My mouth feels like a desert. The taste is almost too much. I try to sit up, only to discover arms wrapped around me. I turn and see Dixon, his face relaxed in sleep. The curtains are open. I slide out of his arms and head to the bathroom. I brush my teeth, use the bathroom, wash my hands and face. My hair is everywhere so I pull it up into a bun. I head to the coffee maker. I need a dose of caffeine. I open the fridge and see the wine. I pick up the bottle and see it's empty. I thought I only had three glasses. No wonder I feel so horrendous. I grab a Coke and head back to the bed. I need some Ibuprofen, in my bag I find a half a bottle of ibuprofen and take four. I sit on the bed sipping the coke. I am searching my mind for how Dixon is in my bed. Then I remember, the door, the talk (or not talk), the tears, and then I vaguely remember being in his arms.
*quot;Hey.*quot; I hear his voice at the exact same time I feel his arm wrap around my waist. He pulls me back into a laying position. I settle beside him. He is stroking my hair, my back, and my face. *quot;How much wine did you drink last night?*quot;
I groan. *quot;I thought I only had three glasses. Apparently I finished the bottle.*quot; I take a deep breath and draw in his scent. *quot;I guess you want to talk now huh?*quot; I ask. Suddenly his hand is removing the sash on my robe. I feel it sliding off my shoulder. I can feel his breath on my cheek as he moves his lips closer to mine. His hand has found my breast as his lips find mine. I moan a soft half moan half sigh. Then my mind clears, I stiffen.
*quot;Oh Lauren. Please, do not push me away. It is killing me to see the hurt in your eyes.*quot; I try to relax, I really do. I can't though. I sit up and smile down at him.
*quot;I am going to jump into the shower. I will be right back.*quot; As I am speaking I am fixing my robe.
*quot;Ok. I am going to go clean up. Do you want to meet back here in an hour? We can have brunch.*quot;
*quot;Ok. See you in an hour.*quot; I go back to the bathroom and start the shower. I can hear him outside the door. I am certain he is talking. Maybe on his phone. I step into the shower and feel my whole body relax. I wash my hair, shave my legs, and then I turn the shower off. Stepping out of the shower, drying off I can feel my hangover improving. I dress in a simple pale pink sundress.
My
kaçak iddaa hair I braid only to get it out of my way. I grab a cup of coffee, and head to the balcony with my phone. I see that it is only eight. When I unlock my phone I see thirteenth missed calls. No one calls me. I touch it, and they are all from Dixon. I touch it so I can see the times that he called. Starting almost exactly when I got the bottle of wine. I exit and look at the messages. I have never had my phone 'blown up' before. Now I have. Sixteen texts. What! Sixteen texts. How is that possible. I open the messages and read.
Lauren I want you to know I think you are amazing.
Lauren, are you awake?
How was the wedding?
Hello.
I really wish you would call me back.
Lauren?
I am about to come over there.
Are you mad at me
I am sorry I didn't call I really didn't want to intrude on the wedding.
Please talk to me
I have never had this happen before.
Are you there
Ok well I will talk to you later
Lauren
Ok I'm worried
I just called the hotel and they will not ring your room for me
The messages keep going. I smile. Why am I smiling? I should feel smothered. I don't. I feel a little better about what I was thinking yesterday. If he didn't enjoy our night, he wouldn't have gotten worried. I check the time. It's close to a hour so I order some food. I make the bed and straighten the room. I don't think I am ready to go home yet. I call down to the desk and extend my stay.
Exactly an hour later, there is a tap at the door. I smooth my dress and open it. Dixon has showered. He is wearing a nice polo shirt with some worn denim jeans. I smile and step to the side. I am about to close the door when I hear a cart in the hall. Our brunch is being wheeled in. I step to the side and let in the delivery guy. He sets up the good, Dixon pulls some cash out and winks at me.
I discover I am starving, but my stomach feels shaky. I start with some dry toast. Dixon fixes his plate and starts to eat. As we eat, my eyes continue to fixate on his lips. I manage to eat a couple eggs, coffee, orange juice, and toast. I am feeling very proud of my stomach at the moment. We clear the table and set the cart in the hall.
Dixon turns toward me and says, *quot;What time do you have to checkout?*quot;
I feel the corners of my mouth twitch into a grin. *quot;Well. I have decided that I am not ready to return to reality just yet. So I'm staying
kaçak bahis for another night.*quot;
To this Dixon throws his head back and laughs. I sit on the sofa and smile, *quot;Thank you for waiting until today.*quot;
*quot;I want to make sure that I didn't scare you last night. I don't usually blow up someone's phone. I was worried about you.*quot; He looks into my eyes and I notice something flicker in his eyes. If I knew him better I would say it was fear.
*quot;I need you to know. I didn't see any of them until this morning.*quot; I probably look sheepish.
*quot;Ok. Well that makes me feel better. You were not ignoring me then. So I need to explain why I left, and why it took me all day to call you.*quot; He says.
*quot;No. You don't. I let my imagination run away with me. We had sex, that doesn't mean you owe me anything.*quot; I begin.
Dixon jumps up and begins to walk in front of me. *quot;I do want to explain. I may not owe you an explanation but I want to give you one. Holding you while you slept, it stirred up some old feelings for me. I'm not going to bore you but I left because I was afraid you would be angry if I stayed. I watched my phone all day. I wrote so many texts and didn't send them. I was waiting on you to text me. I'm sorry.*quot;
I laugh, *quot;You were waiting on me, I was waiting on you.*quot; He cocks his head to the side and begins to laugh. He sits down beside me and takes my hands,*quot; I can't be close to you and not touch you. When you opened the door last night I almost took you to bed. The passion I feel for you is very powerful. I can't break out from under your spell.*quot;
I look into his eyes and again I see the same flicker. *quot;I think you have that backwards. I am under your spell.*quot; His face is closer to mine. His eyes close and he leans in. When his lips touch mine I feel like I have returned home from a long trip. I know where to put my hands. We fit. I keep telling myself to be careful. I have only know him for such a short time.
His hands are in my hair, he is pulling me closer. I can feel his arousal on my thigh. I am breathing so fast I'm afraid I will hyperventilate.
He suddenly breaks the kiss, *quot;Wait, I have to know. Are you on birth control?*quot;
My mind is blank. I can't find my voice. It is locked in my head, so I just nod. In my mind, I am screaming NO!
Birth control. Why would I ever be on birth control. I haven't had sex in a year. The last man I was with was a guy I meet in Hawaii, I made him use a condom. I have only slept with three, whoops make that four people in my life. Birth control. Why did I not think of birth control.
*quot;Lauren. You are very pale, and you look terrified. Are you on birth control? Yes or no.*quot;
*quot;No.*quot; I whisper.